You see them lurking around corners or watching you from a high-altitude secret lair. They never seem to blink, and they always seem to have a mad scowl on their face. Cats are nothing short of mischievous and cunning, so it’s no surprise that many cat owners think their cat might be plotting against them.
Some cats just have that sinister look about them, like Grumpy Cat. Her permanent frown and eyes that say she’s put up with too much nonsense made her internet famous.
Although they’re no man’s best friend, cats have gained the trust of humans enough to develop some form of friendship. But rest assured, your cat could take you down with one fell swoop if they ever felt the need.
Here’s how to tell if your cat might be plotting against you.
Cats are known killing machines, and there are plenty of studies to prove it. One such study found that one in three cats killed prey. But these killings were in self-defense. Nearly half of the prey was left to rot, indicating the move was purely for the thrill of the hunt.
Of course, this doesn’t prove your cat is plotting against you, per se, but your cat’s instincts to hunt might not make you feel any safer.
Lots of cats hunt. That’s part of their nature, and there’s nothing you can do about it. But many of us operate under the belief that cats bring us their killings as trophies or gifts. They’re proud of their work and want you to praise them.
Let’s set the record straight: these “trophies” aren’t gifts—they are actually warning signs. They’re sending a message, loud and clear, that they’re capable of such a brutal attack. Could you be next?
Perhaps you take offense when you enter a room, and your cat immediately flees. This isn’t a sign you need to take a shower, but rather an indication that you almost discovered their plot. They were likely deep in thought about the next step in their plan and were taken aback by your sudden appearance.
Evil-doing cats need physical training, too. Once you retire for the evening, they have the perfect chance to start flexing their muscles and improve their speed, which is why they run through the house in record time. Plus, they know that the less sleep you get, the less aware you’ll be of their activities.
Cats are highly independent creatures (except when it’s time to eat!), so don’t be surprised if you aren’t lavished with affection 24/7. They clean themselves, they don’t need you to let them outside for bathroom time, and they sleep several hours during the day. But don’t think they’ve forgotten you—they’re probably just lulling you into a false sense of security.
Kneading is believed to go back to cats’ kitten days when they would press their paws against their mother to stimulate milk flow. But when adult cats are kneading your stomach, they’re most likely testing the softness of your skin to see where to strike first.
Consider this a form of target practice. They push your drink to the floor or knock a salt shaker off the table with their tail. They know exactly what they’re doing and aren’t ashamed of the results. They’re paying close attention to where these items land so they can get better at targeting.
There’s no arguing that Grumpy Cat is the most adorable feline who always looks like she’s up to something. Her permanent frown is actually caused by feline dwarfism—not ongoing depression or a desire to plot against you.
Still, if your cat has a similar piercing stare and angry look on their face at all times, it’s hard to think they’re not plotting.
If you indeed find your cat may be plotting against you, there’s very little you can do to thwart them. You see, most cats acknowledge their humans may one day uncover their dastardly deeds, so rest assured they have a Plan B.
At the end of the day, cats are members of our family, no matter what they’re plotting. The best thing you can do is lean on the support of other cat owners who know what you’re going through. There is strength in numbers, so band together and do your best to stay on your cat’s good side.
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